Why
by DomeNonneTonne
Summary: Hailey and Jay are married for some years and have 3 children. They both love their life and work (Intelligence). But what happens when Jay has to go back to Afghanistan? (inspired by another story here) How will the children react to it? What will happen to Jay in Afghanistan? [Complete]
1. Bad news

It was Saturday morning when the doorbell rang and 16-year-old Greg Halstead opened the door, and he received a few letters from the postman. He walked back inside just to see his father Jay coming down the stairs and asking who that was.

"It was just the postman. Here are your letters." Greg answered and handed a few letters to Jay.

"Thanks. Mostly just bills." Jay said to his teenage son as he looked through the letters. He paused when he saw a letter from the military. Jay looked shocked because he thought he would never get a letter from them again.

"What is it, dad?" Greg asked astonished. "Nothing important." He said and turned to Amelia. "Hey Amelia, go get your mother and your sister for breakfast." He said to his youngest child. Amelia ran upstairs and you could hear her shouting at Molly to finally get up and come downstairs for breakfast. You could also her Hailey telling Amelia not to shout at her sister.

"Good morning sunshine," Jay said as he saw his wife come down the stairs with the 6-year-old Amelia on her back followed by 14-year-old Molly. "Good morning babe," Hailey answered her husband, took Amelia down and looked at the suspicious-looking letter. "What's that?" she asked and pointed at the letter in Jay's hand. "Nothing important," Jay answered, put the letter at the kitchen counter and sat down.

After they finished breakfast the kids went upstairs to get dressed and Jay cleaned the kitchen. Hailey was still thinking about the letter and that Jay isn't telling her everything. "You know you can tell me everything?" she asked looking at him. "Yeah of course."

"Then why aren't you telling me what the letter is about?"

"I wanted to wait until the right moment to tell you this." He answered. "Jay what is it?"

"The letter is from the army... They want me to go back to Afghanistan." Jay answered looking at Hailey. She was shocked.

"What? I thought you were honourably discharged. ... When do you have to leave?" Hailey felt like her whole world was about to collapse. Her husband has to go back to war which he didn't take well the last time. What should she tell the children? What if Jay wouldn't come back to her? Or what if he came back but as a completely different person? She felt tears coming in her eyes.

"In 2 weeks. My flight is at the 30th this month. And I don't know why they want me to go back." he realized tears in Hailey's eyes and hugged her. "Everything will be just fine, ok?" he said trying to calm her.

She set free from the embrace and said "You have to tell Will and Hank. Call them." "Okay but not yet. I want to wait a few days, so I can figure out how to tell them." was all he said. He then left for a run to clear his mind. The cold November air went through his lungs, and he could feel that it calmed him a bit, and he could think about something else. He thought about his wedding 17 years ago and how much he missed his parents on that day. He also thought about that one night Hailey went home early because she wasn't feeling good. When he came home from work Hailey sat on the couch and wanted him to sit next to her. She smiled like she was at their wedding. After he set down Hailey asked him to close his eyes and open his hands. When he was allowed to open his eyes again he saw a pregnancy test in his hands. A positive one. He looked at Hailey who had happy tears falling down her cheeks. He was so happy and excited for his family to grow. Jay thought about the birth of their first child, Greg. And the births that followed.

When he came back home Hailey and the children were gone. Greg had a football game today and before that a few friends and him wanted to meet. Molly met with some friends and after that, they wanted to go to the game. Amelia was invited to a birthday party which meant Jay and Hailey would have a morning and afternoon without children. Just what they needed right now.

He took a quick shower and got dressed. After he was finished, Hailey came back from dropping off the kids. She went upstairs because she figured Jay was in their bedroom. And there he was, staring at his uniform. "Jay? Are you ok?" She asked as she entered the room. "I don't know. I don't want to leave you and the kids. I want to stay!" He said not looking at her. She could feel how scared he was about the coming time. She hugged him and rubbed his back trying to calm him down.

After a while standing like this Hailey asked "When do we want to tell the kids. I want them to know as soon as possible, so they can enjoy the time left with you."

"I don't know. I don't want them to be sad about me leaving. I want them to be happy." Jay finally looked at Hailey and their eyes locked. "We need to tell them. Otherwise, they will feel deceived and will be angry with you." Hailey told Jay.

"Let's tell them tomorrow after the game. And after that I will call Hank and Will." Jay answered trying to sound confident.

They enjoyed the time alone. Around 4 o'clock Hailey and Jay both went to pick up Amelia from the birthday party. She was so happy about the whole birthday party and that she could stay up late today because of the game. When they came back home Jay got a text from Will. ' Hey, when and where do we meet at the game? '

"Ah shit."

"What's wrong babe?" Hailey asked Jay. She could feel him being strained.

"I just totally forget Will is coming to the game tonight. I can't hide the army thing from him. You know he always knows when something is off." Jay responded.

Hailey walked over to Jay. Amelia was in her room, so she couldn't hear anything from their conversation. "Hey it's going to be ok. Maybe you should tell him before the game?"

"But then he probably won't enjoy the game and this would make the others suspicious." Jay told her concerned about the evening.

"Then tell him after the game. But please tell him." Hailey answered.

"I think I will just get it over and call him, so we can meet. Then he has enough time until the game to process it." Jay responded and quickly dialed Will's phone number.

_"Hey Jay. What's up?" _

"Will we need to talk. Can we meet in 20 minutes at Molly's?" Jay asked his older brother trying not to sound as scared.

_"Yeah sure."_ Will answered sounding confused.


	2. Reactions

**First thanks for the feedback. I'm looking forward to writing stories and posting them. Hopefully, you like that one. I'm trying to write it more detailed and not so confusing like the first one :). I do not own any of these characters.**

20 minutes later Jay arrived at Molly's and stepped in. Inside weren't many people so it wasn't hard for him to find his brother. He sat at the counter with a drink in front of him. Jay walked over to him and greeted him with a hug. It was not a normal hug. Will felt something wasn't right. He first had this feeling when Jay called him and wanted to meet. Jay sat down and wasn't sure how to begin the conversation. He looked at the drink in Will's hand and asked the bartender for the same one. Once he received the drink, Will couldn't wait any longer and asked "Why did you want to meet? It sounded urgent."

"Will, I don't know how to say this," Jay answered looking first at Will and then at his drink and playing with the napkin underneath it. Will got a bad feeling and put his hand on Jay's shoulder. He could feel how tense Jay was.

"Just say it. Once you have it out of you, you will feel better."

Jay looked at Will again and said: "I have to go back to Afghanistan." Will couldn't believe what he heard and swallowed. He was speechless and could only say "When?".

"My flight is in 2 weeks."

"Woah. That's pretty soon. Did you tell someone else?" Will asked still not believing what he just heard.

"I only told Hailey. I don't know how to tell the kids or Hank." Jay had to stop because the thought of his children made him a bit emotional.

Will wasn't sure what to say, so he stayed silent but let his brother know he would be there for him and support him. After a while just sitting there in silence Will had to go back to the hospital because of an emergency. Will and Jay hugged each other and went outside to get to each other's car. Jay felt relieved because of telling his brother and let out a breath.

Jay stopped the engine and stepped outside his car. He thought about the day and how unexpected it went when he walked inside the house and closed the door. He wanted to talk to his wife about everything and how they wanted to tell the children. "Hey Hails, I'm back."  
"We're in the garden." was the answer.  
Jay went to the garden and saw Hailey sit in one of the garden chairs. Amelia was drawing something while laying on a blanket in the distance. He sat down next to Hailey and kissed her. He grabbed her hand, and she asked: "How did it go?" You could feel Hailey's heartache when this subject was coming up.

"It was okay. Will is shocked as well as we are, but he took it pretty well." Jay answered looking in Hailey's eyes. He thought about how lucky he was to have a gorgeous wife and wonderful children. His thoughts drifted away to the last time he was in Afghanistan with Mouse. What they've been through together. He missed his friend but when Mouse decided to go back to Afghanistan, he never came back. When Jay found out, he was heart-broken. And now he had to go back to the war. All the pain and suffering. He wasn't sure if he could make it out without losing himself completely or if he could make it out at all. The thought of dying in war shoot in his head and made his hair stand up. What would his family do without him? The children had no father and Hailey no husband. He quickly suppressed the thought and was shortly after taken back into the here and now by Hailey saying: "That's good. So when are we going to tell the children?" Hailey asked looking at Jay. She thought about a good way to tell their kids that nothing will be the same again but couldn't think of a solution. She felt so empty and lonely, and she was afraid Jay wouldn't come back.  
"I was wondering about that too. I don't know but I want to wait until after the game. They should have some fun today." their eyes met saying this. Both looked into the others' person's eye's and thought about the road ahead.

Amelia came running to her parents as soon as she realized her dad was back home. He was her hero, and she wanted to be with him forever. He was always smiling when he saw her but not today. While Hailey and Jay picked her up at the birthday party, he looked so sad and lonely. He was smiling at Amelia when he saw her though, but she could feel something was off. Amelia wanted to make him feel better and started drawing him as her hero as soon as they came back. Unfortunately, he had to go soon after but now he was back and it was the perfect time to give him the picture. She shouted "Daddy, you're home." with a big smile on her face and the drawing in her hand.

As she arrived at her parents she handed Jay the picture and said: "Look, Daddy, I draw something for you." Jay looked at her smiling and took the picture to take a good look at it. You could see a man with a superhero suit and a cape who was standing on a meadow and the sun was shining. Next to the hero was a little girl and a woman, and all three were smiling. Jay was proud of his little girl for drawing such a nice picture. "That is a wonderful picture. I bet one day you will be an artist." The little girl giggled as she heard her father complimenting her. She felt good about making her daddy feel better. "You know what?" Her mother said taking the picture and standing up. She was smiling too and liked the drawing of her daughter. But she was as well wondering about from whom Amelia got the drawing skills because none of Jay and Hailey was very creative. "How about we hang that picture up on the fridge right next to the others?" Hailey reached out her hand and offered it to Amelia. She accepted it nodding and enthusiastic about the idea, and they made their way to the door. Hailey stopped and asked Jay if he was coming too. He said he needed a bit fresh air but would come inside in a few minutes. Hailey could see what was on Jay's mind but nodded in agreement, so he could have some time for himself to figure things out. She and Amelia went inside and Jay stayed outside thinking.

**So sorry for the delay. I was busy studying for exams and test and couldn't find any time to write at all. Hope you enjoyed the chapter. **


	3. Memories

**Enjoy the chapter. Hope you like it.**

After a while, Jay went back inside to see his wife playing with his daughter. He smiled looking at them and thinking how lucky he was having this family. His thoughts switched to the football game tonight, and he looked at the clock wanting to know how much time they still have left before they have to leave. It was already 5:02 pm and the game would start in an hour, so he said: "Babe we have to go to the game. Otherwise, we won't find a parking slot and miss the game." Hailey looked at him happily and stood up. "Okay but let me first call Molly and tell her we are on the way, so we can meet her." She already had her phone in her hand and dialled the number of her oldest daughter. As soon as she answered Hailey went into another room to grab a few things important for the game. Jay looked at his daughter and asked her if she could put on her shoes and her jacket. First, she didn't want to and wanted to stay home to continue the playing but after Jay promised her she would get some chocolate ice cream she put on her shoes and grabbed her jacket. After she was all done she looked at her father enthusiastically and waited impatiently until Jay also put on his shoes and grabbed a jacket. Just as the two wanted to go to the car, Hailey came and put on her shoes as well. "Is everything alright with Molly? Where are we meeting her?" Jay asked looked as Hailey grabbed her jacket. She looked at him and said: "Yeah, everything is fine. She said she wants to meet us at our seats."

After Hailey, Jay and Amelia arrived at the game and Amelia had her chocolate ice cream they went to go to their seats as they met Hank who already sat at his seat. "Hi, Hank. How are you?" Hailey said, hugging him for greeting. "I'm good but you two look a bit stressed. Is everything alright?" Hank asked while looked at both Jay and Hailey. Jay wasn't sure if he should tell Hank now before the game even started and ruin the game for him or tell him afterwards, but then he wouldn't have so much time to explain everything to him because the children had to go to bed. He glanced at Hailey searching for advice on what to do. She looked in his eyes and nodded. She told them she and Amelia would take a seat and wait for Molly or Will to come. "I think we should talk about this somewhere else," Jay said to Hank and both went somewhere private.  
"Jay, what's going on?" Hank asked staring at Jay hoping to find some clue about what he was going to tell him.  
"I have to go back to Afghanistan. My flight is in two weeks." Jay said without hesitation. He looked at Hank and Hank looked at him. He was visibly shocked and didn't know what to say, so Jay told him everything he knew about his new mission. After a while of just looking at Jay, he finally found his voice and said:" Jay I'm sorry you have to go back but you can make sure I'll look after your family and take good care of them until you get back. And just, so we're clear here, you're coming back in one piece. Physically and mentally."  
Jay looked at Hank, who had been his chief for a while now and just nodded in agreement. " I just have the feeling I'm failing my family and everybody I know. I'm scared of what comes. And I don't want to have to leave my family. They're everything I've ever could have wished for." Hank saw Jay becoming a bit emotional and tapped on his shoulder while saying:" Everything will be alright. But do the children already know? Amelia seemed very happy, so my guess is you haven't told them." "Yeah, Hailey and I still try to figure out how to tell them. Honestly, I don't want to tell them. They should live a life as normal as possible before I go, so they can enjoy it normally. But I know I have to tell them. Otherwise, they will be disappointed and maybe angry with me." Hank watched Jay, who now began to pace up and down and after a few minutes, he said:" You guys will find the right timing for it, so Gregor, Molly and Amelia can enjoy the time still left with their dad. And now let's go back to Hailey and Amelia. The game starts in a few minutes and maybe Molly and Will are already there."

The game was over and it was a win for the team Greg plays for. Everybody had a great time. Jay and Hailey used the time to fade out the past days and spend a good time with their children before it was late. On their way home, Jay had the urgent feeling, to tell the truth to his children. He told them that they needed to talk when they would be home. Greg and Molly were confused but Amelia was unaware of all this, as she was fast asleep.

Once home, Hailey took Amelia and told Jay that she would only tuck her in, and afterwards, she would come downstairs to help him telling the children about the weeks ahead. After a good five minutes Molly, Greg and Jay sat at the dining table and waited for Hailey to come to join them. Once she was there, Molly couldn't keep it any longer and asked: "What is going on? What is it you have to talk to us about?" Greg was suspicious too and asked "Is something, wrong dad? Does this have something to do with the letter of this morning?" He thought about receiving the mail and giving his dad some letters, mostly just bills but one letter confused his dad, and he felt something was wrong but didn't want to dig deeper. He got worried What if the letter told his dad something horrible like they finally found Mouses body. Mouse went missing a couple of years ago after he for once more joined the army to go back to Afghanistan. Everybody thought he was dead but Jay didn't. He hold on to his friend and said to himself every day that Mouse was alive. Or was it something good? Greg couldn't wait any longer to learn about this important thing.

Jay, on the other hand, thought about whether he should just drop the bomb or say it with a bit of information before. He decided to do the first thing because he was never a big fan of the whole "not coming to the point" thing, and he thought that his children were old enough to handle it.

"I have to go back to Afghanistan..."

**What do you think of the chapter? Let me know. And thanks for reading it :).**


	4. last normal day

**I am soooo sorry you had to wait so long for the next chapter. I honestly forgot about it. And then the whole COVID-19 thing happened. I hope you like it. I don't own anything. **

Greg just stared at his father in disbelief. He wasn't sure if he heard right. Did his father say that he has to go back to Afghanistan? He looked over to his sister, who had tears streaming down her face and then to his mother who stood behind Jay with her hands on his shoulders looking at her children. Amelia wasn't sure what that meant and you could see the confusedness all over her face. She stared at Jay and then at Hailey searching for answers. Hailey noticed and began to explain to her: "That means daddy has to go into a dangerous place," Amelia didn't understand and asked: "But why do you have to go, daddy? Can't you stay with us?"

"I wish I could sweetheart, but the army wants me to go to Afghanistan," Jay told her while taking her on his lap and hugging her. "Can't you just say that you don't want to go?" Amelia asked and her eyes started to tear. Jay let go of her and told her that you mostly couldn't discuss it and had to go.

Greg found his voice again and asked: "When do you have to go?". He didn't look at his dad because he couldn't see his face. Otherwise, he would burst out in tears. Jay looked at his son and hesitated with answering the question. He knew the news alone were shocking, but he having to leave in two weeks was the cherry on top of the cake. After a short break, he answered: "In two weeks. My flight is at the 30th." Greg was shocked. Not only his dad having to leave but as well as having to leave in two weeks. That was too much for him. He stood up and went upstairs in his room without saying a single word. Molly followed after hugging Jay. Now only Jay, Hailey and Amelia were left. Hailey looked at Jay and Jay looked at her. Both were exhausted from the last few days. Hailey took Amelia and told Jay she would lay Amelia down.

Jay went upstairs in the master bedroom and sat down on the bed. Now he was alone with his thoughts. He thought about the good old times as well as what the future will look like. After half an hour Hailey came into the room and sat down next to him. She took his hand and played with his fingers while saying: "Give them some time to process." Jay looked down to his hand in Hailey's. He wasn't sure if he could do it. If he could leave his family alone.

He looked into Hailey's eyes and said: " I don't know if I can do this. I can't just pack my things, go and might never come back. I... I just don't know if I can leave you and the kids alone. It feels like I betray you. " He felt a lump in his throat and just stared right into Hailey's eyes. She looked into his and caressed Jay's cheek with her hand. This touch reminded Jay of the reason he fell in love with her, the reason he married her. She made him feel safe and at home. Their eyes locked and Jay bend forwards to be as close to Hailey as possible. He maintained until their lips met. It was a kiss full of tenderness and emotion. The tender kiss went into a longing and passionate kiss...

The next morning, Hailey woke up before Jay which was unusual because he normally woke up early to go for a run. She decided to let him sleep and went showering. In the shower, she had time to think about what she had to do once Jay was away. She had to talk to Hank and ask about some time off to figure things out and arrange a few new things for the children. Amelia normally was picked up from elementary school and take her to a friend of the family who watched her until she and Jay came home from work. Greg and Molly drove together to school so there was nothing to worry about. But she had to figure a few other things out which gave her a headache. After she finished the shower and got dressed, Jay still slept. She thought about the night before how sad he was but also relieved because of telling the kids. Hailey decided to make some breakfast and then wake Jay up. A little while later, Hailey went upstairs with two mugs of coffee in her hand. When she entered the bedroom she was surprised to see the bed empty. "Jay?"

"Ya, in the bathroom," Jay answered to Hailey question and soon after the response a blonde head appeared. Jay smiled at the sight of coffee and kissed Hailey on her cheek. "Good morning." she smiled at him and kissed him. "Are you going for a run today?" she asked looking at Jay who now drank a few sips of the coffee Hailey made. "No. I don't feel like it. Are the kids up?" Hailey shrugged her shoulders and answered: "I don't know, maybe. But if they are, they are still in their rooms" Right after Hailey finished the sentence Amelia came in the room looking for her parents. "Mommy, daddy? Where are you?" "In the bathroom sweetie," Jay answered and put the mug down. At the same time, a blond curly head looked through the door and started to smile when she saw her parents. Jay bent down to Amelia to take her up and said good morning. Hailey kissed the little girl on the forehead and asked: "Do you want to wake up your siblings? Tell them breakfast is ready." Amelia's eyes began to spark because of excitement, and she ran away to the rooms of Molly and Greg. 20 minutes later the whole family sat together at the dining table and ate breakfast. They talk about a few not important things until Greg looked at his father and asked: " Why do you have to leave?" Jay wasn't surprised by this question because he asked that himself. He looked over to Hailey and told Greg: "I'm not sure. I don't understand it either but I wanted to talk to the person in charge tomorrow because today I won't reach anyone there." Greg was visibly not satisfied with that answer but didn't dig deeper. Everyone continued to eat in silence until Molly asked: "But you come back, right?" Hailey saw the fear in her daughter's eyes and answered for Jay who was struggling with the question: "Dad can't promise, but he will try his best. And you know you can always come to me and Jay to talk. And even when he is in Afghanistan you can call him and talk to him. He won't be out of the world." She looked to Jay whose facial expression was thanking her for answering the question, and then she studied her children. The relief was visible and the mood wasn't tense anymore.

**Thanks for reading it. Feedback is very welcome. Hope you stay safe in times like these. **


	5. departure

**So sorry for the delay. I'm just totally forgot this story existed because of COVID-19. I hope you still enjoy this chapter and the following ones. Have a great day and stay safe.**

2 weeks later,

In the last two weeks, Jay had to tell his co-workers he will go away. Not everybody has taken it well. Adam and Kim needed time to process and still haven't got used to the idea. Atwater and Rojas got used quite quickly but are still not comfortable with Jay leaving. Everybody from the unit assured their support and help to Hailey, Jay and the family. Work has been a bit awkward because everyone had questions but didn't know how to ask. So there were many moments with awkward silence or looks. But last night everybody from the unit went to Molly's as well as some people of the Firehouse 51 and from Med. They sat together and just talked. Jay, as well as Hailey, enjoyed the evening because it was some kind of normal and no one talked about the following day. The day of Jay's departure. The ride home from Molly's was silent. Jay drove and didn't say a word, Hailey looked out the window and was in her thoughts. She enjoyed the company of Jay but was frightened as well, because of the following day. She looked over to Jay and saw that he was in his thoughts as well, so she stayed silent. Hailey thought about the last weeks. Jay wanted to do things as normal as possible but it didn't always work out. Amelia was afraid to go to sleep because she thought Jay would leave, or she had nightmares about him leaving, so she stayed with Jay and Hailey in the night. Hailey put an old mattress on the floor so Amelia could sleep on it. She didn't want to sleep in Hailey and Jay's bed because she didn't want to wake them up. Molly and Greg were afraid as well but didn't show it much. One time though Hailey got a call from the school while being at work. A classmate of Molly made fun of her for having a dad in the military and not being able to see him in the next few months or ever again. Greg saw everything and wanted to protect his little sister, so he punched him and got into a huge fight. Hailey didn't recognize her son. Before the news of Jay going away, Greg was a nice person who didn't care about schoolyard fights. He was like the nice guy from next doors.

But everything has changed. On the morning of Jay's departure, the whole family sat together at the dining table and ate breakfast. There were no conversations. It was total silence and nobody could eat breakfast properly. They just looked at each other and thought about the time ahead. Molly had tears in her eyes and Amelia sat on Jay's lap hugging him. Greg stared at Jay and thought about the past two weeks. It was a nice time but it was filled with anger and fear. After they kind of finished breakfast, everyone got ready to leave. Jay went upstairs to get his luggage and Hailey followed him. She wanted to have one last moment alone with him before the big goodbye. She walked towards him and hugged him tightly. Her hearts felt so heavy and about to break into a million pieces, but she knew she wasn't the only one that felt this way. Tears were beginning to stream down her face, and she felt more and more like she would never see her husband again. The breathing became harder every breath, her body began to shake, and she felt like she was drowning in sadness and fear.

"I don't want to leave you," Jay said after some time. Hailey looked up at him and saw him with tears in his eyes. She caressed his cheek and looked him into his eyes. At this moment both knew it would be OK for him to leave. Both leaned in for a long and emotional kiss before they went downstairs. The children were already in the car and Jay and Hailey got in as well. The drive to the airport was just as quiet as the breakfast. Nobody wanted to say anything. They just enjoyed each other's company for the last time. Hailey thought about how Jay talked to the one responsible for his mission. It was the following Monday (he was informed about it on Saturday, but nobody was in the office that day) and he finally got in touch with Major Lukas Dunphy. Hailey sat next to him and listened carefully to every single word they exchanged. After a few minutes, Jay hung up and looked at Hailey. "I have to go. There's nothing they can do about it." Hailey thought her world collapsed while Jay was saying this. Since Saturday, she had this little flame of hope, that everything was a mistake or a joke but it wasn't. Her heart began to feel heavy, and she needed time alone to process it. Out of the house and for a quick sprint was her goal to get her mind off of the next weeks. But somehow she ended up at Hanks house. After a drink and a long talk with Hank and him assuring her he would help her with the family and offered her to take the kids for a day or two, so Hailey and Jay got a bit of time for themselves. She thanked him for everything and went home. The next days Jay and Hailey tried to live a normal life without the dark cloud hanging over everything.

"Hailey are you OK?" Jay asked and looked over to Hailey which was staring outside the window and looking at the dark clouds on the sky. "It looks like it's about to rain" was everything Hailey could say. She didn't want to talk about Jay leaving or him being on a dangerous mission. She still had a bit of hope everything was just a huge mistake and Jay would come home with them. But after they parked the car in the parking lot of the airport, the little shimmer of hope went as well as every emotion. She just felt empty. Jay on the other hand was full of emotions. He felt things he never felt before and never wanted to feel again. Betrayal, fear of losing loved ones, anger. He thought about his conversation with Will yesterday. It wasn't long but both knew what the other one wanted to say but couldn't. Theoretically Will wanted to come to the airport and say goodbye there, but last minute he had to take over a shift in the hospital because someone got ill.

Once everyone was out of the car, they entered the building and looked for the gate Jay had to be. "What gate was it again?" Hailey asked while looking at a map of the airport. Jay looked at his ticket and said: "Gate 27". "Found it" Greg said while pointing at a spot on the map. They grabbed everything and went to the security check. On the way, Amelia hold Hands with Hailey because she was afraid another parent would leave. Molly grabbed Greg's hand and wished she could turn back time or at least change it.


	6. Missing

**Just had this idea of the chapter in school and couldn't stop writing. Hope you enjoy it. It's a bit different from the others. Stay safe. Reviews are very welcome :).**

Glass. Broken glass and blood were everywhere. Somebody screamed for help, but no one answered. It was said, that the rescue team was on their way. But that was 20 minutes ago. Some people who survived began to cry and lose hope. A guy in a military uniform walked through the plane to look for survivors, but he didn't think he would find anyone who hasn't already climbed out of the wrack. He himself wasn't spared from the crash, but it didn't matter at that moment. He felt something underneath his foot and looked down to it. It was a photograph of a happy family. Husband, wife and three children. Two girls and one boy, though it seemed the boy was the eldest. The man was looking for the man in the photograph because he thought he knew him.

_"I love you" Hailey said while giving Jay a kiss on the cheek. She wanted to kiss him on the lips, but thought she might begin to cry if she did that, so she refused to. Jay hugged her deeply and said: "I love you too." He then hugged each of his children individually and assured them that he would try everything in his power to come back safely. Hailey once more hugged him and whispered while hugging Jay: "Do not act like a hero! Do you understand me? We need you in one piece back. I need you in one piece back, so don't you dare play the damn hero!" "I won't"..._

Halstead was his name. The military guy remembered sitting next to him and having a conversation with him. He didn't talk much but listened carefully. I have to find him, was the only thing Muller could think about. But finding Halstead in the wrack wasn't easy at all. Muller tried to remember what happened before he blacked out, but he couldn't. The only thing he could remember was sitting next to Halstead and talking to him. He went outside for fresh air and just stared at the mountains. They were so massive, they made him scared. Scared about what happened or what will happen. What if he couldn't find Halstead in the right time, and he would die alone, somewhere outside of Iran.

_"Hey, I'm Phil Muller. What's your name?"_

_"Hi, I'm Jay Halstead. Nice to meet you. Is this your first mission?"_

_"No my second. You?"_

_"My third..."_

"Muller we need you here!" a voice shouted. Phil wasn't sure from where the voice came nor from whom it was. He just answered: "coming" and walked towards what he thought was the person who shouted for him. Trying hard to concentrate on the voice which was still screaming for Muller, he felt the adrenaline kicking in. Finally, he found the man crying for help and tried his best. Muller and a few colleagues tried to help a woman from their unit, who was stuck underneath the wing of the plane. All the pushing and pressing didn't help at all. The woman was stuck. After making it more comfortable for her, Muller convinced a friend of his to help look for Halstead. Together they began looking everywhere.

_Bang. _

_"We are hit. I repeat we are... We are going do... Ple…se... sen... help…"_

_Jay was talking to Phil when they were hit. He looked over to Phil and saw the fear in his eyes. He is too young to die, was all he thought about in this situation and right before they hit the ground, Jay threw himself in front of Phil to protect the young officer._

Muller and his friend were looking everywhere but couldn't find Jay, so they decided to head back to the others and wait for the rescue team. On top of that it started to rain. Everyone who was able to walk, went into the plane to stay safe, but Muller couldn't let the woman who was still stuck under the wing stay outside on her own. He walked over to her and asked if he could sit with her. She agreed, and they began to talk about unimportant stuff like how they drink their coffee or what they usually ate for breakfast. It kept both minds off of what was happening around them. All the pain they saw today and all the families which were destroyed by this accident. After a few minutes the woman began to cry and Muller asked her if he could do anything to calm her. "Find my husband. Find him and tell him I love him." was her answer. Muller looked at her and said: "You are going to do this. We all are going to be fine and you are going back to your husband." Muller panicked and wished for Halstead to be with him in this situation. To help both, the woman and him.

Darkness was surrounding him. He was cold as ice and soaking wet because of the rain. Breathing wasn't as easy as it was before. All he could think of was his family and how he promised to come back. But why was he alone and where was he? Firstly I have to open my eyes. After achieving this, the rest should be easier, he thought. But opening the eyes wasn't as easy as assumed. The eyelids felt heavier than ever and all of a sudden a wave of fear overcame Jay. He had to make it back home. He just had to. At home where people who counted on him, like his wife or his children. As well as his brother and a few close friends. After having a small fight with his inner self, he finally tried to open his eyes again. Tears were streaming down his face and opened his eyes. Jay took some time to get his bearings but wasn't sure where he was. He tried to sit up, while trying he felt nausea kicking in, and he had to throw up. "Halstead? Halstead? Where are you?" somebody shouted in the distance. Jay wanted to answer but couldn't. His voice cut of as he tried to speak, so he attempted to draw attention to himself in another way.

The rescue team arrived and firstly took care of the woman stuck under the wing. The search for Halstead was put on hold to first get the woman to a hospital. After the helicopter with her took off, Muller and a few people started the search again. But this tame they had more equipment like flashlights (because it was getting dark) and other things. After a few minutes they started to hear some noises which were coming of a direction, they didn't look before. Muller went first and realised who it was. "It's him."


	7. Life and death

**I'm sorry I haven't updated in so long, but I had a lot going on and just couldn't find the time to write. I was working all day and was just too tired to write something in the evening. I really am sorry but I can't promise this won't happen again. Because as I know myself, this will probably happen again next time. I am really, really sorry. **

**Hope you guys still like the new chapter. It's not as good as the others but I hope that's okay. Love you all and stay safe.**

"Hey Jay. Are you alright? How bad is it?" Muller asked while walking towards him and kneeling down to look for bigger wounds in his abdomen, but didn't find any. He felt a huge relief and looked Halstead in the eyes. His face wasn't in a good shape, but he was awake. Jay looked at Muller and tried again to get up but this time without the nausea. Muller help him to sit up and checked again if anything looked out of the ordinary. But to his surprise Jay looked fine except of a some minor cuts and bruises. "Jay are you alright?" he asked again since Jay didn't answer the previous question. "I... I think so. I'm not quite sure. My head is killing me and I feel nauseous but other than this I think I'm okay." He finally said and looked around to figure out where he was. Suddenly he felt a sharp pain in his right leg. He wondered what it was but then the other guys came, and the darkness was gone because of all the flashlights. Muller was the first one who noticed Jays leg. His heart skipped a beat while he was looking at his friends leg. He missed it. How could he miss something so out of the ordinary while looking for something out of the ordinary? His body wanted to throw up, but he could stop the urge and kindly pushed Jay back on his back, so he wouldn't see the leg, which was twisted in a really not normal way. "Jay stay down. Erwin and Michael get Willy. I think he is a doctor and Timmy and Steve get a helicopter which can fly him to a hospital." Muller demanded and looked back at Jay. "Okay Jay. So here's the thing. Your leg is broken and in general shaped oddly. We need to get you to a hospital ASAP to minimize further damage. I sent the other guys away to get you out of here, but I am not sure how long this will take. So let's talk." "O... Okay. Why didn't I feel the pain sooner?" "Adrenalin." "Yeah that makes sense. You know what I thought about first?" Muller looked at him wondering what he was going to say. "My family. My wife, my children and my friends. I know this sounds normal but I thought about their lives without me. What would happen to them if I died or I never existed? Would they be happy or what would their lives look like in general?" "Jay you are not going to die and if you and your wife hadn't met, your children wouldn't exist. So I guess it's for the better you two met. And from what I heard she really loves you and you love her." Jay looked at Muller and wasn't sure what to think, do or say, so he stayed silent. After a few minutes he looked away at the now bright shinning stars and wished he was at home with his family. "Thanks." was all he could say right now. Muller looked at him and was confused. "For what? You were the one who saved my life for which I didn't yet thank you. So I have to thank you for saving my life." A few minutes passed and the other guys came back. "Help is on its way."

Meanwhile, at home:

"Good Morning mommy." Amelia walked in the master bedroom sleepy, with her blanky in one hand. She climbed in the bed and laid down next to Hailey. Hailey glanced at her daughter and then looked at the alarm clock at the bedside table. It was 5 am and Jay still hasn't called to confirm he landed safely. She began to worry but didn't want to show it in front of Amelia, so she cuddled with her. After a few minutes Amelia was asleep again and Hailey got up. She took the phone and stepped outside, so she wouldn't wake somebody up. She dialled the number of Hank to ask if he knows anything.

Beep... Beep... Beep... "Hello?" "Hank it's me Hailey. Look I'm sorry to wake you up, but I'm worried. Jay still hasn't called nor texted. I just want to know for sure he's alright. Did you hear anything?" "I didn't hear anything. But why don't you and the kids come over later, and then we can figure out what to do." Okay thanks. But can you try to get further information until we're there?" "I'll do my best, but I can't promise anything." "Thanks Hank. Really it means a lot. So we come around 9 am. Is that okay with you?" "Yes. Goodbye" "See you later Hank."  
Hailey hung up and went back inside. She didn't feel better, but she couldn't keep that mindset or the children would notice something was odd. So she went to the kitchen and brew some coffee. With a full mug of coffee she sat down at the dinning table and tried to call Kim. After she didn't pick up, Hailey tried to call Rojas. Rojas immediately picked up and after Hailey told her about what happened or what didn't happen, they talked. Just talking was a normality Hailey welcomed and was happy to have such a good and caring friend. Around 8:30 am everyone was fully dressed and ready to go. They arrived at Hank's at 8:56 am.  
Hank went outside to greet them and told the children to go inside, while he was talking to Hailey. "Hailey I called some people and have some information for you but I don't think you will like them... " Hailey looked at him and was preparing herself for the worst. She was preparing herself mentally to tell the children Jay wouldn't come back. She stepped back and was preparing herself to bury the love of her life. "The plane was attacked and crashed. For as what I heard a few people died but not Jay. I don't know anything about him except that he is not confirmed dead so there is a chance he is alive but the situation is kinda difficult because some rebels are about to attack them. So we have to wait and see..."

Meanwhile, at the plane wrack:

The helicopter just arrived and Muller and a few others help Jay to get in the helicopter. They had to hurry because the rebels arrived and began shooting at them. "Oh fuck. Jay you have to hurry up." Muller shouted as Jay tried his best not to trip, when he heard Erwin go down. Finally, Jay was in the helicopter, Muller was shooting back so the other guys could go in the helicopter as well. After everyone from the group, was inside the helicopter Muller was the only one left. He turned around to go inside as the others gave him rear cover. But out of the blue another rebel came and started shooting... and hit Muller. He went straight down and was dead immediately. The helicopter took off and Jay couldn't help himself but stare at the lifeless body who saved him twice...


	8. The end

**Hey, so this is the rewritten last chapter. I am really sorry for the first attempt of it. It wasn't what you deserve and not what I wanted this story to end like. Hope you like this one better. I personally think it is a excellent chapter. Stay safe and love you.**

The helicopter ride was silent. Jay sat there in pain, thinking about what just happened. Muller died while saving his life, and he could do anything to save him. He was lost. 20 minutes later, the helicopter arrived at the local hospital and doctors and nurses waited for them. The doctors and nurses help Jay to get out of the helicopter and on a stretcher. He was brought into an examination room. The doctor who examined Jays leg tried to talk to him, but he only spoke Pashto, so Jay didn't understand a word he was saying. "ایا تاسو ما پیژنئ؟ (do you understand me?)" the doctor was asking but Halstead was looking at him confused. So the doctor left and after a few minutes he came back with Ted, a guy from the unit. "Hey Halstead. I speak Pashto, so I will translate for you, okay?" He stood next to the doctor and didn't look as bad as Jay. Just a small wound on his forehead and some bruises. Jay looked at him and felt a lot safer and calmer than a few minutes ago. "Okay. Thanks" he answered. The doctor began to examine Jay's leg and talked to Ted about something Jay didn't understand.

"Jay, your leg isn't looking so good. The doctor said they have to operate it. Otherwise, you risk further damage. And you have some internal bleeding that has to be stopped as well. Is that okay with you?" Ted asked Jay and he looked at the doctor. The doctor looked like they had to hurry up, so Jay agreed and a few minutes later he was in the operation room, ready to be anaesthetized. Soon later he was sleeping like a bear. The surgery was long and complicated and some guys from the unit waited for Jay to come out of surgery. In the meantime Ted tried to call the families of the passed ones and hurt ones. The next family to inform was Jay's. He dialled the number from the list and waited for someone to pick up. A few beeps later and the voice of a woman in her forties. "Halstead, who is this?" Hailey answered the phone, prepared for everything. "Hello, this is Ted Smith. I am in the same unit as Jay Halstead. I just wanted to inform you about the latest events on our mission." Ted said in a calm and soothing tone. Hailey was relieved that she finally became some information about her husband and would probably finally calm down. "Okay, I was informed there was a plane crash. But what exactly happened and how is my husband?" "The plane was hit and went down. I don't know what exactly happened but I know that your husband is alive and in good hands. For now he is in surgery, because his leg was in pretty bad shape, and he had some internal bleeding as well, but I am certain that everything will be alright." Ted answered her questions. He was interrupted when the doctor finally came out of Jays surgery and was about to inform them how the surgery went. "Miss Halstead? The doctor just came out of surgery. If you'd like to wait a bit, I could tell you how exactly your husband is doing." Smith said while walking to the doctor. Hailey, of course, wanted to know exactly how Jay was doing, so she agreed to stay on the phone and wait a bit. Ted and the doctor talked and talked. Hailey was starting to get a bit nervous, but before that Ted was already on the phone again.

"Miss Halstead, are you still there?" he asked. "Hailey, please. Yes I am still here. So how is my husband doing?" she asked walking nervously around the room. "He is fine. He will be brought to the US as soon as he is allowed to from the doctors site of view." Ted answered and looked at the other guys who were about to head out. Hailey was relieved everything was alright and went to the other room in which Hank was with the children. "Thank you a lot Ted. I don't know what to say." Hailey said to end the conversation because she wanted to tell every body the good news. "No problem. I'm glad he is fine. I will visit him in the morning and I think you can then talk to him. Until then, goodbye." Ted said and headed out together with the other guys to the nearest base. Hailey said goodbye as well and hung up. Hank was walking towards her and asked how Jay was. "He is out of surgery and fine. He will be transported to Chicago Med as soon as possible." Hailey said in relieve and hugged Hank as a sign of gratitude.

A few days later, Jay was on his way to the US as the pain in his leg got worse. The last couple of days the pain already intensified, but he thought it was normal after this kind of injury and surgery. He tried to tell someone, but he was too tired, and so he thought he could just tell it Will when he arrives at Chicago Med and all will be fine. He slept through most of the flight and woke up when the plane landed. The landing intensified the pain again, and he wasn't able to keep it to himself any more. He told one of the guys who sat near him but this guy didn't really understand what the problem was, so Jay decided to forget it and stick to his old plan. Once he arrived at the hospital and was brought to his room he asked a nurse to get Will. After a few minutes he came and smiled at him. "I wanted to finish my last patient for today and then come to you, but one of us couldn't wait. I will inform Hailey right away" "Will my leg really hurts. I don't think this is the normal amount of pain." Will's smile faded, and he walked over to Jay's injured leg. He realized that it had to be awful if Jay said it hurts a lot. "Jay, why didn't you say something when it began?" he asked. "I tried but no one listened or understood what I was trying to say." Jay said while looking at Will's face. His face was filled with concern and as soon as he took of all the bandages Will gasped and looked at Jay. "Holy shit, Jay. The surgical wound is completely inflamed. We have to get you to surgery right now. I don't know if we can save the leg." he said while calling another doctor for the surgery. A few minutes later Jay was again in surgery and Will called Hailey to inform her.

"Hey Hailey, it's me Will. Listen Jay arrived just an hour ago but I think it's better if only you came for now." he said while going into the doctors lounge to change from his scrubs into his daily clothes because his shift was over. "What? Why? Did something happen? Will talk to me." Hailey said with concern in her voice. "When he arrived Jay's leg was completely inflamed, and we had to rush him to surgery to prevent further damage. I don't know how long the surgery will take but it probably will take it's time." Will looked at the clock to think about the earliest end of surgery when Hailey replied: "I'm on my way. I can't sit here with the kids and the uncertainty of not knowing exactly what is going on and how he is doing." And so Hailey met Will half an hour later at the front door of the hospital. Together, they went to the waiting area and Will asked one of the nurses for new information. "Still in surgery. Nothing new yet. But I'll keep you two posted."

After a couple of hours a doctor came towards Will and Hailey. He still had his surgical gown on and wasn't looking like he just had a successful surgery. "Miss Halstead?" he asked and Hailey and Will stood up to greet him. "Yes." Hailey answered and shook his hand. "The surgery of your husband didn't go as planned. His leg was really infected, and we couldn't do anything to safe it. He is now in his room. If you want I could bring you to him." Hailey looked at the doctor in disbelief. She then looked at Will for some answers. "He lost his leg?!" Hailey couldn't believe it and felt like a huge wave just hit her. "He lost his leg? Will? He can't lose his leg. How is he suppose to do his job?" Hailey looked at Will, and he tried to answer but Hailey looked at him with a look he never saw on her. He walked over to her and just hugged her tightly. "We are going to get through it. We just have to be there for him, and we can do it. He can do it." "Okay, okay. You're right. Can we go to him now?"

... Hailey sat by his side as he was still asleep. It was weird for her to see just one of his legs. But she knew they would get through this together and there would be solutions for all the problems ahead. Slowly Jay began to wake up and Hailey had to tell him about his leg. But first she kissed and hugged him because she could have lost him in the plane crash and afterwards.


End file.
